Solemnity of the Holy Family

At a parent-teacher conference, my daughter’s second grade teacher showed me a picture my daughter had drawn. The class had been asked to create posters showing who had taught them various lessons in life. On hers, my daughter wrote, “My daddy taught me to pray.” This warmed my heart, because I want her to know how to pray. Not because I’m a priest, but because I’m a parent.
It’s the duty of Catholic parents to hand on the faith to their children. We are expected to be our children’s primary religion teachers or catechists, to use a churchy term. Yes, religious education programs, Catholic schools, youth groups, and even clergy have an important role to play. But they’re supporting roles, at best. They’re meant to reinforce what parents have taught. Because it’s within the family that faith should really be passed on.
Today we’re given the example of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph- the Holy Family. They had gone to the great Jewish Temple in Jerusalem for the feast of Passover. We’re told they did this every year, as was the custom. The point here is that Mary and Joseph, as parents, did their religious duty as a family. On this particular occasion, Jesus remained behind and astonished the Jewish religious leaders with his knowledge. We can be sure that he came by this knowledge through the religious upbringing of his parents.
Many parents these days, however, don’t introduce their children to religion. They say they want their kids to grow up and make their own choices. Unfortunately, most children raised this way grow up and choose to have no religion at all.
Consider today’s college students. It used to be that students would arrive on campus eager to explore deep questions about faith, the meaning of life, and right from wrong. But no longer. Because students these days haven’t been exposed to religion, they don’t know what questions to ask. They don’t have tools to explore with. So they focus instead on preparing for a career and getting a job. They don’t bother with God, because no one bothered to introduce them to God in the first place.
What’s the lesson here? If we want our children to grow up to have faith, we have to pass the faith on to them while they’re children. And that’s a parents’ job. Anyone or anything else is just a poor substitute.
As parents, we want our kids to be educated, well-rounded, sociable. So we help them with schoolwork, sign them up for sports and activities, arrange for playdates. Which is all good! But more than anything else, parents need to make it a priority to pass on their faith to their kids. If they want to be really effective, they need to take a team approach. Two religious parents have a much higher success rate than only one. And it’s especially important that dads be on board. For whatever reason, kids with non-religious fathers are far less likely to become religious adults than kids with non-religious moms. One more thing: children raised without a religious background are more susceptible as adults to becoming religious extremists.
So what’s to do? If you’re a parent with children at home, take your kids to Mass. Teach them to pray. Take them to confession. Place religious images in your home. Share what your faith means to you. Read the Bible with them, and lives of the saints. Get involved in the parish, so it’s a major focus of family life. Let your kids see you give generously to the needy, and the church. Always speak positively about the church, even when it frustrates you. Teach them right from wrong as God reveals it through the church, not as the world teaches through the media. And make it a point to develop your own faith life. Because you can’t pass on to your kids, what you don’t have yourself.
What if you’re a parent with grown children who no longer practice their faith, or may have switched their allegiance to another religious group? Don’t beat yourself up. They’re adults and can make their own decisions. Those decisions are their responsibility, not yours. Don’t despair either; adult kids can change their minds. An indifferent 20 year-old today can become a pillar of the church later in life. And don’t forget the witness of St. Monica, who for years prayed daily for her wayward son Augustine, who finally returned to the faith, and ultimately became a saint.
Grandparents have a role to play as well. If your adult children aren’t raising your grandkids with faith, there’s much you can do. It’s for good reason that Pope John Paul II called grandparents “evangelists!” First of all, encourage- but don’t nag- your kids to have their children baptized, receive First Holy Communion, be Confirmed. If they don’t object, you yourself can take them to Mass and CCD. Let them see your faith in action. Buy them religious books and items. Even if they aren’t received with excitement at the time, God can use them for his purposes.
No one said that raising kids to have faith was easy. You may remember the story of the seven-year old in Utah who took off in his parents’ car one Sunday morning, because he didn’t want to go to church. And I’ll admit, even the best churches can seem boring at times. I’m also aware that the efforts of some parents are counter-productive. Maybe their actions don’t match their words, and their kids conclude that religion’s for hypocrites. Or maybe the image of God they tried to pass on was one of fear and judgment, not love and mercy. There’s a reason some people describe themselves as “recovering Catholics!”
But this shouldn’t discourage us! Instead, it should make us more determined to do our best. Two days ago, excited children opened Christmas gifts which they’ll cherish and treasure. But there’s no greater treasure we can pass on to them, than the gift of faith.

Third Sunday of Advent

Could a cop killer ever become a saint? It’s possible that one will be. His name is Jacques Fesch. Fesch grew up in France as a spoiled rich kid and became an irresponsible playboy who used women and abandoned two children. When his parents refused to bankroll his dream of a decadent life in the South Pacific, he robbed a store instead. A police officer tried to stop him as he ran off, but Fesch shot him straight through the heart. The widowed officer died instantly, leaving his four year old daughter an orphan.
At his trial, Fesch was defiant, and he was sentenced to death by the guillotine. After a year in jail, however, God broke into Fesch’s life. As he put it, “the Spirit of the Lord seized me by the throat.” This dramatic conversion experience led to a dramatic repentance. Fesch confessed his sins. He began to pray. And he tried to repair some of the damage he had done. He wrote journals that reflected a deep spiritual maturity that have inspired many since they were published. The night before his death, he reconciled with his ex-wife. His last journal entry was, “In five hours I shall see Jesus!” His last words, spoken as the guillotine blade fell, were: “Holy Virgin, have pity on me.”
Jacques Fesch is still in the process of being considered for sainthood. But if he is declared a saint, he won’t be unique. Many saints have checkered pasts and skeletons in their closets. Some, like Fesch, had at one time led deeply evil lives and committed horrible sins. Our roster of Catholic saints includes alcoholics, prostitutes, murderers, cheaters, con men, and leaders of criminal gangs. One twice-convicted felon would later become a pope. St. Pelagia the Penitent was a notorious exotic dancer in fifth-century Antioch. “Nothing was more vile than she was, when she was on the stage,” recalled St. John Chrysostom.
Yet in spite of their histories, and regardless of all the things they had done, all of these folks are now saints. That means that everyone can become a saint. That means that no one can be so far removed from God that they can’t hope to become his friend. It’s no excuse to say that the things we’ve done are unforgivable. We may turn our backs on God. But God never turns his back on us. “Nobody is ever lost in God’s eyes,” wrote the French Cardinal who has petitioned that Jacques Fesch be declared a saint.
This is something important for us to think about, as we listen to John the Baptists’ call to repent, in today’s gospel. When John the Baptist calls us to repent, he’s urging us to turn our lives around, to change our ways, to strive for holiness, to clean up our act, to shape up and fly straight. John calls upon everyone to do this- without exception. No one is excluded from God’s call to holiness, because no one is excluded from God’s love. No one should live without hope of redemption from God, because there’s nothing for which we’re sorry that God can’t or won’t forgive. God’s love never fails. God’s love has no limits. God always gives second chances. I know someone who says that the church would fall over if she ever paid a visit- and she’s only half-joking, I hope. But nothing could be further from the truth. Just think about Jacques Fesch.
But what does repentance involve in practice? When we answer the call to turn our lives around, what does God expect from us? That’s a fair question to ask. The crowds asked that very thing of John the Baptist. “What should we do?” they cried. In his reply, John spoke of acting with generosity, honesty, simplicity, and fairness. But what he said is just as important as what he did not say. He did not say, “Beat yourself up,” which is what some people imagine when they think of repentance. We can weep for our sins, but should rejoice in our redemption. Yes, we should hate some of the things we’ve done. But we should never hate ourselves. God doesn’t.
Consider the experience of St. John of God. John was a seventeenth-century Portuguese man who drifted away from his faith as an adult. One day, however, during a big religious festival, he heard a powerful homily from Blessed John of Avila. Right in the middle of the congregation, John of God began to cry out loud, beat his breast, and scream for mercy at the top of his lungs. This continued for months. He became a public nuisance, wandering the streets and pleading for forgiveness. The locals concluded that he was insane, and had him shut up in an asylum.
Blessed John of Avila learned of this, and paid him a visit. He convinced John of God that he’d beat himself up long enough. It was time for him to spend his energies on something positive, that would benefit both himself and his neighbors. In essence, he told him that “God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.” John of God took this advice, and dedicated the rest of his life to serving the sick and the poor.
We can learn from John of God that if we’re beating ourselves up for things we’ve done in the past, God wants us to stop. Repentance involves positive change, not getting stuck in regret. Repentance requires humility, but not necessarily humiliation. We’re to look forward in faith, not backward in bitterness.
It’s for good reason that today’s gospel described John the Baptist’s preaching as “good news.” It’s also for good reason that today’s other Scripture readings speak of joy and rejoicing. The call to repentance is good news; it is a reason for us to rejoice. It reflects God’s love; it assures us of God’s forgiveness; and thus it gives rise to hope. Because if a cop killer can repent and become a saint, then surely, we can too.